Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Year 4 of my adventure

So I've been writing and posting to this blog for a little over 3 years now. It's morphed a little over time, becoming more of a repository of my photos and videos, almost exclusively about my teaching job, than a diary of my thoughts and feelings.
And that's ok. I set out to give an insight into what it's like to live and work in Japan as an ALT in a rural community, and I think if you go back through the archives and look at my pics and vids, you get a pretty good picture of what life is like for us JETs out here in the inaka.

I was talking to my friend Michele once a few years ago about this blog and I told her how I wanted to go off on a rant about my frustrations and feelings and she advised that I keep the tone of this blog light and informational. She suggested I start a 2nd blog for my "life diary" type entries. Well, it's been a while, but I think I'm going to follow her advice.

But I'm not gonna post the link to my new blog here - I think I'll let that one be anonymous and just rant away if I feel like it. Hopefully doing that will help me sort thru some troubling issues I'm dealing with at the moment.

Lately I've been really depressed. The reason that I mention that here is that if there are aspiring or new JETs reading this, then they should know that despite all the fun I have here, the job is not without it's frustrations, and living here can get to you at times.
My recent low ebb has more to do with personal issues anyway, more so than work related issues. But your personal can spill over into your professional, and I find myself getting annoyed at things at work that would normally not bother me so much.
Of course, my supervisor just sent me an email asking if I want to stay for a 5th year. :P
I don't have to give my official answer until February, but they already want to know for budget planning.

I'm just really not sure. Part of me wants to stay - part of me wants to leave - and part of me wants to stay in Japan but not as a teacher. It's gonna be a tough choice.

My recent bout of self doubt was triggered by a video I watched on You Tube - Click Here to see it.

That video is in itself a response to another video, a short film titled "Are you anybody's favorite person?"

I thought about this and I don't think I am anybody's favorite person. Sure, people like me - I'm a likable guy most of the time. And my kids like me, as I am a fun teacher.
But I don't think I'm anybody's favorite person. I was once, but that was a long time ago now.
And I just don't see that changing anytime soon - certainly not while I'm in Japan. So that's had me thinking, and when I think like this I often suffer from insomnia, which makes me tired and cranky during the day.

Anyway, this is turning into exactly the type of rant I was gonna start posting on my new blog.

This week has kinda sucked, and I haven't been in the mood to edit the movie I mentioned about Taisha's Sports Day or to post anymore pics, etc. But I'm sure come the weekend I'll be bored in my little apartment and you'll see some new stuff here soon.

I hope all is well with you and please come back again for my regular posts soon.

-Jason

5 comments:

Titia said...

Jason...Keep your head up and just know that you are admired. You ARE someone's favourite person- you just may not know it....It is really funny that you posted that link to Youtube because out of the blue my neice (she is 6) said to me "Aunty you are my favourite person." Smile from time to time!

Admirably Yours,
Titia

Anonymous said...

Jason.

I have just spend the past 4 hours reading your blog and looking at pictures you have taken over the past few years. I've wanted to live in Japan for a long time. Maybe I should try teaching english. You seem a little down in your recent posts, but the things you've seen and done are pretty remarkable. Plus people tend to come off a little more whiney than they actually are in their blogs.

It's 4 AM here in New York right now, so I think I'm going to pass out. The second I graduate college though I'm coming over there.

Anonymous said...

Just finished reading and watching everything in this blog. can't wait to come to japan.

James said...

When I first decided that I wanted to be a Jet, I looked far and wide on the internet for information that would help me get in and see what it is like first hand. I have to say that your blog has really help me confirm that I really need this. So in my mind you are like a Celebrity to me and I think you are doing a great job.

If you really think about the people from the Jet Programme has asked you to do presentation for the up coming Jets that can only mean that they know how great of a person you are.

Jason H. said...

Thanx for the kind words guys.

If you're thinking of coming to Japan - good luck! It's a great gig being an ALT - and if I helped in some small way, then that makes me happy. :)

Peace!
-Jason